Monday, 29 February 2016

PARENTING PRESSURE


As I write this blog post it's 5am, a woeful hour and one I'm experiencing due to my three year old waking at 2am and now I can't back to sleep my mind racing with all the things I need to do! I'm tired and know that by this evening I'll be exhausted and very grumpy but still I'm awake and checking my work calendar for all the things I have on today.

People say to me "I don't know how you do it?" and in truth I don't: things slip, the housework doesn't get done and I forget to wash kids school uniforms for example. This week we've been looking after the playgroup bear, the boy loves it but as I look in the bear's diary at the other diary entries I feel completely overwhelmed to think of anything interesting for us to do with the bear! So instead we thought we'd give him and his clothes a wash. It's funny how the little things always worry me so much.



A minute ago I checked in on Facebook and my closet friend's sister-in-law sent me a message having seen my middle child at a party this weekend. She took the time to say what a good job I was doing as he was lovely. It has completely overwhelmed me, the fact that someone I hardly know took the time to send such a lovely message is humbling, and the fact that I have received it at such a low point has meant so much more than she will ever know.

I know that the pressure I feel is pressure that I put on myself, to be the best mum, to be the best at work, to have a lovely house, and to do interesting things. Most of the time I can just about juggle everything, with a humongous amount of help from my husband and mum, but right now I'm paying the price of wanting too much, being too busy and being exhausted and quite frankly I'd like a round of applause when I walk in the office today just for making it there fully dressed! 

6 comments:

  1. you're not alone... I don't know why we live in a culture where nothing is never enough... and we need to do more... more more more... I know exactly how you feel. I don't know if it helps... probably not, but you're not alone. (and you ARE doing an amazing job, btw)

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  2. I'm applauding, can you here me? I remember this so well, young children, a very demanding career, an elderly vulnerable mum, a home to upkeep, not to mention my husband. I was at the bottom of a very long list. I've learnt in a very dramatic way, that I need to put myself first, not all the time but some of the time. So I make time for weekends away, nights out, time in my studio. And I know by doing this my girls, and my husband will have a healthier and happy person in their lives, and that I can be there for them. Put yourself first sometimes, none of us has a never ending supply of energy :) xxx

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  3. It's a standing ovation from over here. Man, what I wouldn't have given for help from my folks. My partner is estranged from family, so my folks were it, but I am the step parent, so they were more steps removed and didn't really feel they could help. Now that I am the grandparent helping my kids, I can see how valuable it is. I look back now and wonder how we did it.

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  4. I rarely comment on blogs, but this spoke to me. So much more pressure on moms to be everything. Media adds tremendously to the burden. Not only with parenting, but with displaying all of these things we should be accomplishing as individuals. The trips we should be taking, the beautiful garden we should have planted, etc. What helps me when I'm harried is stopping and thinking, "is this necessary for the well being of my family or is this something I am truly enjoying". If it's not yes to at least one, then I should rethink doing it.

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  5. You did a really wonderful thing there, washing the bear and his clothes. I bet that bear hardly gets a wash between children looking after him (which I always think is a little grim!) and what an adventure for the bear to tell! While I look at your blog and think what a fab life you and your family have, as a parent, I am under no illusion of the difficulties that might lie behind it. But you have inspired this family to live more simply, go slow, take a step back. (I'll try to remember that though next time I feel anxious, stressed out...easier said than done). Hang in there, you're doing a great job!

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  6. I really enjoy your blog, I think you are doing a wonderful job!

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