Monday, 29 February 2016
As I write this blog post it's 5am, a woeful hour and one I'm experiencing due to my three year old waking at 2am and now I can't back to sleep my mind racing with all the things I need to do! I'm tired and know that by this evening I'll be exhausted and very grumpy but still I'm awake and checking my work calendar for all the things I have on today.
People say to me "I don't know how you do it?" and in truth I don't: things slip, the housework doesn't get done and I forget to wash kids school uniforms for example. This week we've been looking after the playgroup bear, the boy loves it but as I look in the bear's diary at the other diary entries I feel completely overwhelmed to think of anything interesting for us to do with the bear! So instead we thought we'd give him and his clothes a wash. It's funny how the little things always worry me so much.
A minute ago I checked in on Facebook and my closet friend's sister-in-law sent me a message having seen my middle child at a party this weekend. She took the time to say what a good job I was doing as he was lovely. It has completely overwhelmed me, the fact that someone I hardly know took the time to send such a lovely message is humbling, and the fact that I have received it at such a low point has meant so much more than she will ever know.
I know that the pressure I feel is pressure that I put on myself, to be the best mum, to be the best at work, to have a lovely house, and to do interesting things. Most of the time I can just about juggle everything, with a humongous amount of help from my husband and mum, but right now I'm paying the price of wanting too much, being too busy and being exhausted and quite frankly I'd like a round of applause when I walk in the office today just for making it there fully dressed!