Friday, 27 November 2009

who is teaching who...?

my little man came home with a certificate from school today for 'working well in everything and being kind to others', now rest assured, I am not telling you this to boast, I am sharing this as we have had a rather challenging couple of months with him. He had been coming home from school in such a bad mood, tired and angry all the time. Then after a meeting with his teacher we were dismayed to learn that although popular, he was involved in a lot of rough and tumble at playtimes, that needed to stop.

The first thing we did, was look our parenting and I realised the more challenging that he was becoming with his behaviour, the more I was relenting, therefore his anger and frustration was being rewarded by being allowed to play, as I was trying to keep the peace for an easy life. We have also gone though such a couple of months of poor sleep with our youngest, that I noticed our tolerance level had dwindled and we were snapping at our children. It was so clear when standing back how he was just mirroring our behaviour!

So I have been spending more time with my little man, being calm, firm and trying to focus more on him and his needs these past few weeks. I have had complete days without turning the laptop on {you may have noticed I haven't been around as much?} as we try to bring in a rhythm to our day again of play, making supper together and doing crafty things. His dad has been taking him to football practice which he has been loving too and although I am not keen on after school clubs and driving children all over the place, this is working well as it is a good place for him to release his energy and something his good behaviour is rewarded with.

It just serves to remind me that you can't get complacent with this parenting lark and the more time, hard work and energy you put in, the more you all get out. His certificate today makes me so proud of my little man and reminds me how important to him, good parenting from me is.

4 comments:

  1. umm, something we are probably all guilty of. thank you for the reminder.

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  2. Definitely a timely reminder - especially as it's so easy to get caught up in doing so many other things at this time of the year. I've really noticed how the children mirror my tone/words - after a couple of days of really working at talking gently to them, not snapping or shouting, the difference in their behaviour is marked. Just need to actually consciously be more aware, more often!

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  3. uummmm...I know where you are coming from with the after school stuff but I think it is only a problem if you are a pushy mum ie 'you will do this, this and this'. My oldest daughter was in a swimming club but didn't enjoy it so she left. She's now in cubs and LOVES it. We camp as a family but when she goes with cubs it's like a new sense of adventure for her!!!

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