Monday, 12 October 2009

glimpses of the real me...


my wonderfully inspiring blog friend Susannah, calls blogs like mine 'PR' blogs, and she is right, I only post about sunny days and smiles, while she blogs about all of her life without editing it first! I wish I could write like she does, without holding back, but I am always mindful that friends, family, neighbours and work colleagues sometimes read this little blog of mine and therefore I leave out great chunks of my life. I am sure that people I know would read this blog and not even recognise that it's me, were it not for the photos!

Anyhow, why I am thinking like this, is that I have just spent the whole weekend in bed with a migraine and flu like symptoms and I am down right depressed. Depressed that I have missed a sunny weekend, depressed that I haven't played with my boys all weekend, depressed that I live for the weekends and I have missed this one completely and depressed that I had some events to go to, that I missed out on! Just downright feeling sorry for myself I guess as I am still feeling rubbish. The reason that I am ill is that once again I have overdone it, too much work, too many late nights and a big bout of insomnia. I have had a summer of stress and worry, where once again I vowed to be around more for my family, to have tea on the table when my husband arrived home and to keep the house clean and tidy. What happened in real life is that I ended up working full time instead of part time and completely forgot to cook and clean!

All is not lost and with my mother-in-law passing away at the end of the summer, it forced me to stand back and reevaluate what is important in our lives. I am lucky, I work for an organisation that values and supports its staff, which allowed me to make a very big decision and to make a change. But I think I have bared my soul enough today as I am not used to sharing quite so much with you, I will tell you more about my big decision over the next few days, but first I need a nap and more paracetamol!

11 comments:

  1. ohh, i hope you are feeling better, angel! i love you no matter you blog about - sunny days, grey days, it's all good to me :) go gently today! xxx

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  2. I seriously love Susannah's blog. My blog is a PR blog too.

    I hope you feel better soon - your blog is wonderful x

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  3. I hope you are feeling better soon, Emma. I'm sorry you missed your weekend!

    I don't mind the PR style blog at all. Isn't that what most of us do? There is a reason for it, too, in my view. It's not about showing off, it's about embracing the positive in one's own life, which is a good thing.

    Take care. Can't wait to hear about your big change . . .

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  4. Love Susannah's blog too. Am another (mostly) PR blogger, although am starting to try to be more 'real' - I guess partly it's a mix of wanting to forget the bad, partly not wanting to air the unpleasant side of life in public and risk judgement for not being tippy top all the time.

    Hope you feel better soon - it is extra miserable to be ill on the weekends, I really sympathise.

    Look forward to hearing more about the big decision, in the meantime make sure you take it easy and take good care of yourself xx

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  5. No reason why a blog shouldn't be a happy place or whatever you want it to be. Mine is too.
    I had all sorts of illness and insomnia related to stress when I was working long hours, feeling I was neglecting my home and family and squeezing myself into the edge of my own life. Then I was suddenly made redundant, which felt awful at the time but happily was the best thing. No more insomnia, health much improved and I feel at the heart of my life.
    I hope your big decision leads you just where you want to be.

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  6. I know how awful migraines can be - takes me a couple of days to recover. Hope you're feeling better.

    I love cheery blogs but also appreciate the odd "telling it like it is" posts too. More authentic, I feel. We all have them and it can help to read that actually, yep, you're not alone with x,y or z.

    Can't wait to hear your news (my guess is part-time or working from home?) and thank you for a glimpse of more of you!

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  7. Emma, clearly you are quite loved and supported in your life and in your blog life.

    I'd like to add my thoughts of love and support as well. Everyone deserves to take a stop along the way to reevaluate, to sit down and take a moment. I'm only sorry you had to be ill in order to have a reason to stay in your jammies for a few days. I hope you are feeling up to speed very quickly.

    The good news is that time does, in fact, fly! So you will get your weekend to enjoy before you know it!

    In the meantime, we'll all be sitting on the other side of your screen like little peeps awaiting your news! Ready to clap and smile with you.

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  8. Hey you - hope that you are feeling much better now! I like whatever you blog - and hope that many of your days ARE as sunny as your share ;)

    xo

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  9. Forget the cleaning, life is for living not cleaning! (Your boys won't remember how clean the house was)
    Hope you feel better soon - sending big hugs

    By the way I haven't quite felt up to the blogging recently, but regularly read yours for the lovely thoughts and cheery photos which give me inspiration

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  10. Awh, take care of yourself Mama.

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