Tuesday, 13 October 2009

the big decision...

hanging with the boys {on film} by me

so following yesterdays teasing end - "what is the big decision" I hear you cry? Well, its not really that big or life changing in the great scheme of things, but it is for me and one that has taken me weeks of agonising. I am stepping back at work, stepping down from heading up the marketing department and instead just managing it. What this means in real life is that I should be able to do all of the work without the responsibilities and stress that have previously accompanied it. And I may be able to just work the 26 hours a week I am supposed to and spend more time with my family!

An opportunity arose at work in terms of timing, and it was now or never. I just got fed up hearing myself complain, fed up of always being late at the school gates, always working in the middle of the night surrounded by piles of washing and compromising in terms of my sanity as I can never say no! Probably all the arguments that all working mums have, trying to juggle home and career?

At the moment it feels weird, you are brought up to believe that upwards is the right way to go, strive for promotion until you reach the top. It feels wrong that I should be going down the 'corporate ladder' so to speak, even though it is a sideways shuffle rather than a demotion and I've never been a 'career girl'. I think the worst thing for me is that now I am not responsible for as much, people don't ask me things and refer things to me, things that I have been doing for 10 years and might know about, which dents my pride. But I have to learn to let go, this is no longer my responsibility, my colleagues are wonderful and the biggest lesson I need to learn is that I can't do everything.

This move will free up more time so my job will become easier as I don't have to spread myself so thinly and I hope those around me will benefit too. My children won't have to play second best to a laptop after school, my husband may get tea on the table once a week {miracles may happen!} and my colleagues at work will once again get creative, sparky, emma back. Who knows? it is early days and I know it will be hard to be line managed once again, I am trying to be brave, as I know it is for the greater good and you just never know what the future holds do you?

7 comments:

  1. well done...as you say nothing is harder as women feel they have to strive to succeed at everything and hate to fail....so taking the decision is hard and will be hard to live by but just let it flow and enjoy what you have and the time to enjoy it...

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  2. I too am contracted for 23 hours a week and have just clocked up 130 in the last fortnight!
    I do nightwork so I still put the children to bed and am there as they wake, although often I am barely awake!

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  3. it takes real guts to make those decisions
    it'll take some adjustments but you've done the hardest part already
    go with it ~ enjoy being juggled!
    love & peace x

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  4. You are brave! You ARE! Because you are a woman, because you are a mom, a wife, a daughter, a friend. Because you've dared to live your life like it matters. That makes you brave.

    That means you can do anything that is important to your heart.

    I'm proud of you.

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  5. Oh well done! That is quite a brave move, particularly as you'll still be working in the office, but quite liberating too I'd imagine.

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  6. I went part time and 'dropped' a grade after my second child was born. BEST THING I EVER DID.
    My oldest is nine now and i can feel her childhood slipping away between my fingers and it will never come back. No matter what the media says - we can't do it all - life is full of compromises but I can guarantee that on your deathbed you won't be thinking 'Damn, I wish I'd spent more time at the office'!!!

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  7. Well done for finding a solution that fits with your priorities. When my son was very little my 18.5 hour job turned into more than full time and I truly regret the time I lost with him.
    It's so hard to admit that you can't do it all, but so liberating when you finally accept it.
    I hope it works out the way you want it to and that you find it easier to say no more often as time goes on :o)

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